I grew up in the blissful state of Arizona.
It’s a wonderful place. It has desert, mountains, forest, and you only have to travel about an hour to be in a completely different climate. It has culture, art, tasty food, swimming pools everywhere… I could go on. But perhaps its crowning glory is that there is NO DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.
No nonsense with taking your hours away without your consent and then later trying to win you back by merely returning what was stolen from you. And don’t try to persuade me to like daylight savings time with the ole’, “well at least there’s ‘fall behind,’ where you get to sleep in an extra hour!” Ha. That person clearly does not have small children. Or they are uncommonly remarkable, in that when you tell the toddlers to “sleep in an extra hour to make up for spring ahead several months ago” they actually oblige. No, fall behind throws everything off too.
I have come to the conclusion since leaving that wonderful state 9 years ago, (time out. How can I actually say nine years ago and actually mean nine years, and not be exaggerating?! And be talking about going to college and not my 7th birthday party?) But I digress, since my departure from blissful “never-touch-that-clock-Arizona,” I have come to the conclusion that I truly hate ‘spring ahead.’ I am not fooled by the claims that it was actually invented by Benjamin Franklin. It is the spawn of satan.
Nap times, bed times are off, and it’s not just for the week or two following until you adjust. Clearly Benjamin Franklin, I mean satan, never had to convince his child over and over and over that it REALLY was bedtime, despite the fact that light is shining all through the black-out curtains because sunset won’t be coming until 9 pm!
But all that could perhaps be forgiven if it weren’t for the debacle. I admit, it is partly my fault. I was just too comfortable in my golden Arizona upbringing. But none of it would have happened if not for that traitorous Spring Ahead.
It happened one lovely Sunday in San Francisco. Mr. Boffin and I were newly married and had been asked to speak in church that day. (In my church everyone in the congregation takes a turn speaking). We didn’t have a car, so I made sure to get up early so I would have plenty of time to get ready and walk the good twenty five minutes up and down and up and down the hills to the church building and make it in time without having to rush. I got out of the shower and was brushing my dripping, wet hair when I looked at a text I had received from a friend.
“It’s daylight savings and you are speaking today.”
My first thought was, “I know I’m speaking.. what does she mean it’s daylight savings? OH. NO. Daylight savings. It’s spring. Spring ahead. What time is it really? Aack! Church just started!” Keep in mind that we were the only speakers for AN HOUR for quite a large congregation. We weren’t the absolute first on the program, but certainly the bulk.
Panic. I yelled that it was spring ahead, and Mr. Boffin had to get out of the shower RIGHT NOW. I texted my friend to ask someone to pick us up. I threw on a dress, hastily threw my long, sopping hair in a ponytail braid, and we ran out the door. I was a sight. Sprinting down a steep hill in a dress and tights as I held my high heels in one hand and my sodden hair streaming behind me. Later our friend came zooming in his car, did a quick U-turn halfway up the hill, we threw ourselves into the seats, and he sped off.
We arrived and luckily they had gotten someone to bear their testimony until we arrived, but OH. I cannot describe how deeply I wanted NOT to walk up all the aisles to the podium – so. embarrassingly. late. But I couldn’t turn back time. In fact, this whole mess started with clock-touching. So, I braced myself, said a prayer, and tried to calm my racing heart as I walked straight to the podium and began speaking. Mr. Boffin had the jolly, good luck of speaking after myself so that he had time to compose himself.
See? Spring Ahead is a sneaky little wretch. I saw this meme (made by whisper Ap), and I had to laugh as I raised my hand.
And this one was just too perfect. (I couldn’t find who made it)I think I need to go watch Princess Bride now. Just try to forget this whole daylight savings thing as Wesley climbs the cliffs of insanity.
So, good luck. May the treachery of spring ahead pass over you quickly as we all try to adjust to this time thievery.